WHEN YOUR CLIENT IS DEFENSIVE

The fact is that even coaching clients can, and do at times, become defensive. What then? How should you, as a Meta-Coach, detect such and respond? That was the question I was recently asked when presenting Meta-Therapy. “What should I do if I think a client’s statement is a defense or a cover-up?”

First of all, let’s not pathologize defensiveness. It is not good or necessary to do that. We all get defensive at times. Being defensive is not uniquely a problem for those who need therapy. It is a human characteristic and a pretty common one at that. And given that, the question then becomes— Is the defensive posture appropriate or not? Is it an accurate assessment of a threat, is it imaginary, or is it a combination? What is the person defensive about?