WHY DO SOME HAVE A HARD TIME ASKING CLARITY QUESTIONS?

To ask a clarity question is simply to ask about how a person is using a word, “How are you using the term X?” “What is your understanding of the term X?” While this is a very simple question, it recognizes a foundational and profound NLP fact— people operate from their own map of the world, and the linguistic definitions that they assume about words are unique to them. So we ask what may on the surface seem obvious. “What do you mean by the term leadership?” “What do you mean by nervous energy?” I know what I mean when I used those terms, but the truth is I do not know what you mean and your unique definitions unless I ask. That’s the clarity question.

Why then do some have such a hard time being able to remember to use this skill or to pull it off in a coaching conversation? How could such a simple skill be viewed as difficult?