A PEAK INSIDE MY THINKING

If you have been following the news since the outbreak of the Hamas–Israel War three weeks ago, you know that there are hundreds of articles and videos presenting all sorts of political arguments. From the political point-of-view, there are apologists arguing for the right of Hamas to do the Oct. 7 massacre, the right of the Palestinians to send rockets over into Israel, the right of Israel to defend itself, by bombing the hell out of the Gaza strip, etc. I have seen a dozen videos about the “historical argument” about who has the right to the land and who does not.

When I wrote, A Political Solution (Neurons #45), my thinking went like this: Whatever happens in the War, and whatever happens politically, I have really no influence about that. Hearing Mahmoud Abbas, the President of the Palestinian Authority, say that Hamas does not represent “his people,” I distinguished three groups in the conflict: Hamas, Palestinians, Israelis. Of course, there are other groups: Hezbollah, Iran, the US government, Iraq, etc. But my purpose was not political, it was psychological.

Psychologically, when the War is over, and things are back to some kind of “normality,” there will be a whole lot of hurting people. That’s my concern. There will be refugees displaced from their homes, there will be lots of deaths to mourn, a new political structures has to be built, and on and on. What can we then do about any of that?

My thought is that first we offer healing in the form of trauma recovery, resilience, resourcefulness, good grief processing, etc. The next thing, the long-term thing, is to start to get people to accept life conditions, tolerate other people (rather than kill them), and forgive. In Neuro-Semantics and NLP we are fully equipped and ready for trauma recovery and resilience. We know how to do that. We can also train, coach, and consult people on owning their personal power and becoming more resourceful in re-building life, not as victims, but as victors within their own lives.

But if we want to begin planting the seeds for a future without ongoing bombing of each other and terrorist acts and war—then we need to begin empowering people to transform. How do they need to transform? They need to move from hate to love; from intolerance to tolerance; from non-acceptance and rejection to acceptance. They need to move from revenge killing to releasing the past and getting over it. They need to move to thinking about the future and living together without war. It was to that end that I wrote the first articles on A Psychological Solution.

Could everybody hear that? Obviously, not everyone. Many were too emotional, too angry, too

afraid, too upset, frustrated, too much in a state of revenge, too unforgiving, etc. Some made simplistic ethnocentric decisions, “Anyone I care about or agrees with my religion is a good guy, everybody else is bad and evil.” Some were personalizing too much, others were over- generalizing, doing either/or thinking, polarizing, emotionalizing, etc. Their thinking was dominated and controlled by Cognitive Distortions. I don’t blame any of them, not even for the accusations that some hurled at me. I knew that it was their emotions talking and that they were talking out of hurt and angry states. It’s human nature to do so.

And it is also human nature to rise above that! We can do better. That’s what we teach in all of the Self-Actualization Trainings. We are made for something so much better than hate, anger, fear, revenge, etc.! We can transcend that and we have the power to create a brighter and better future. That’s what I want to say. Let’s move toward a better way for all people getting along.

I wrote the second article, Getting Over the Past (Neurons #46) to address the “historical argument.” As a psychologist, I spoke to it first as to individuals, then I addressed it as applicable to a group. The historical argument is completely destructive individually. People live their whole lives upset, angry, scared, rageful, revengeful, etc. because of some childhood trauma constantly demanding that someone change the past. Or, that the traumatic past somehow justifies them in being angry, a victim, revengeful, or demanding. It does not work for individuals. It does not work for nations.

We have to move on. In listening to the “historical argument,” the pro-Palestinians argue about 1947/ 1948 saying it was their land. Others argue that it was never their land, that 1881 the Jews started to return to a barren land and they were the ones who built the cities and fields. Others go back centuries before, to the 7th century. Then others go back to Moses, 3,500 years ago when he brought the Israelites to the land. In the end we are left with more questions, not fewer. What history really counts? Whose memory is the real one? It is an endless argument that can never be solved to everyone’s satisfaction. Psychologically this argument is a Logical Fallacy, a red herring. Solving that will not change anything today politically.

That brings us back to today and what we will do when the War ends. In terms of the psychology of control, in terms of responsibility to/for— all we can do (since we are not the political leaders) is to do what we can to help people recover from the trauma, become resilience and resourceful, and transform so that this kind of thing doesn’t happen again.

To that end, I hope that we can persuade Arab NLP and Neuro-Semantic trainers to go to the Palestinians with these offerings. We have never had a Palestinian NLP Center. I believe we will need one for the future. Israel already has an NLP Association, so they can take care of that. I have proposed this to the NLP Leadership Summit and dozens have responded saying, “count me in.” When the day comes, I, for one, am ready to go and offer our Neuro-Semantic trainings at my own expense.

What does L. Michael Hall Really Think? After writing the previous blog, we had an extended discussion with the ISNS Leadership Team. I added the following. My writings on this subject have led some to assert numerous false things. Among them are things that I’m told that I believe and intend(!) which actually I do not. That led me to wonder, “How could the writings be mis-interpreted that much?” Several on the team helped me understand some of the twisted framing that some are using to distort what I wrote, thereby preventing people from clear understanding what I actually wrote.

For example, some said that I was writing to promote Zionist propaganda and to take Israel’s side in the war. Not only am I not on Israel’s sidem I have not even thought about “sides.” “Sides” presuppose there’s a good side and a bad side. I find that such either/or thinking not only over- simplifies, it perpetuates the conflict as it sets up a false polarization. If I’m to take sides, I’m on the side of human beings getting along, living in peace, and not bombing each other.

Now because I’m a psychologist and not a politician, I focus on the psychology of thinking and languaging. For years, my focus as been on enabling people to do critical thinking so they can communicate clearly, precisely, and rationally. That’s why I focus on facts, not fantasies. That’s why I emphasized the fact, We cannot change the past. So living in the past, demanding it be changed perpetuates suffering and does not lead to healing. Living in the past and staying angry, revengeful, and hateful about the past solves nothing. Pointing out some facts about Hamas also does not mean that I think Israel is blameless in the conflict. I do not.

As a psychotherapist, my focus has been on creating the kind of life that we all want in the future and what we can do in the future when the war is over. I have written about the importance of trauma recovery, the development of resilience, emotional mastery, and resourcefulness. I have written that we have to fight against hate, revenge, rage, and intolerance. Conversely, we need to promote acceptance, tolerance, and forgiveness. Yes, I know that those in the war right now are not in the place to forgive—not right now.

Now because I think Hamas ought to release the hostages and agree to a ceasefire, some have falsely assumed that I’m against the Palestinians and against Islam. I am not. I am for the Palestinian people and for Moslems. If I had my way, not a single additional Palestinian would die or be wounded from this day forward.

What I care about are the people in Palestine who are the ones now being traumatized as Israel continues their war against Hamas. I care that they are caught in the middle of the bombing and are suffering tremendously as people are dying and being wounded, as homes are being destroyed, etc. They live in fear and dread. Yet one day, they will need the healing touch of compassion to help them recover from this actual trauma.

Others, however, who do not live in Palestine, they are actually not suffering from the war; they are not experiencing the bombing, the devastation, the daily struggle for food and water. Does it affect them? Sure. Yet they are experiencing a different kind of trauma– vicarious trauma. Actually, nothing bad is happening to them. Instead they are watching the war on TV, and in social media, and traumatizing themselves about it.

How are they doing that? They are doing this by personalizing and emotionalizing. They are doing this by catastrophizing and over-generalizing. This obviously makes their lives miserable; and as it is stressing them out, it is reducing their ability for clear thinking whereby they could be more helpful and healing to those in the actual trauma. Theirs is not a true trauma. It is a vicarious trauma. And the healing for that is very different from the trauma recovery for those in Palestine. To be healed from vicarious trauma, they will have to identify and let go of the cognitive distortions in their thinking.

What do I think? I think we need to move beyond the cycles of hate and revenge; I think we need to establish cycles of tolerance and cultivate love for all people. As it will take time, it will require loads of patience, persistence, and commitment.