AN ATTITUDE IS A META-STATE

Here is something that everyone has heard and that most people fully agree with— Attitude is everything. Do you believe that? Most of us know that in just about any and every situation, a person’s attitude makes a tremendous difference. Success and failure often hinge on attitude. Resilience and defeat often teeter on attitude. Close bonding with a loved one and/or bitter resentment can even turn on an attitude. We also know that sometimes a person will adopt a horrendous attitude about something and that attitude will consume them, make them sick, undermine their immune system.

“He has copped an attitude about authority; I can’t even stand to be around him.” “She’d be great in that position in terms of her skills, but her whiny attitude makes her obnoxious.”

This is true for just about everything in human experience, isn’t it? Take learning as a prototype. Attitude governs not only the quality of your learning but also your ability to learn. To undermine your learning, to prevent yourself from effectively learning—all you need is a “stickin’ attitude.” Hate learning, despise the person teaching, think others are getting special treatment, imagine the presenter has a “thing” against you, and so on—and you can go through the learning experience and yet learn nothing. The attitude can completely nullify the learning. Amazing, wouldn’t you say?

So, how is your attitude? Take anything and step back and ask yourself, “What is my attitude about this?” Or perhaps do this: Talk to someone about that subject and invite them to ask you repeatedly, “What is your attitude about X?”

What’s your attitude about problems, difficulties, mistakes? What’s your attitude about business? Money? Charging? Asking for business? What’s your attitude about selling? Influencing others? Trying to win someone’s or a group’s mind about your project? What’s your attitude about exercise? Sweating? Eating healthy foods?

Now for the connection between attitude and meta-states. Every attitude is a meta-state! That is, whenever you consider an attitude, you are actually working with a meta-state. And if it is a meta-state, then knowing the structure of a meta-state means that you can do something about it.

Analyze the Attitude Begin with the subject or theme of the attitude. Complete this sentence stem: “It is an attitude about ___.” This will enable you to specify the primary state. For example: It is about work. It is about saving money. It is about being frugal. It is about following a schedule. Now you have your primary state, so describe it in sensory-based terms (see, hear, feel terms).

Next, now that you have a primary state description, explore the meta-state frames that you or another person has about it. “What do you think or feel about X (the primary state)?” “What images, meanings, awarenesses, etc. come to mind when X is mentioned?” Ask these questions repeatedly so that you get the frames that are in the back of your mind about it.

Once you have that, repeat the meta-frame elicitation. “Let’s say Y comes to mind. Let’s say that idea or feeling is true for you, if that’s true for you, what do you think, believe, understand, etc. about that?” This holds the first frame and enables you to get the next level frame. With this you now have a structural description of the attitude. You now can see how your attitude is constructed and held together.

Quality Control the Attitude Does that attitude enhance your life? Does it empower you as a person? Does it set in motion the consequences that you want? Is this your highest spiritual pathway? Does it reflect your highest values?

Built up a New Enhancing Attitude What attitude would you like to have? First identify the context and subject and ground in sensory- description the primary state where that attitude would be required. Then answer the meta-frame elicitation questions: “What do you need to think, feel, believe, understand, decide, etc. about that which would create the desired attitude?”

If you want a robust attitude of determination so you courageously and persistently stick with something, where and when do you want that? And what do you need to think and feel so that you have that attitude? If you want a resilient attitude of always bouncing back when you experience a set-back, what do you need to perceive, understand, etc.?

Knowing meta-states and the structure of meta-states, it is now possible for you to design-engineer the attitude that you want and need. You can now create the right frame of mind for any given context that you have to face. You can also now interview people you admire who have an attitude that you’d like to have. That is, you can now model their “attitude” precisely because you know what comprises an attitude. Do you want an attitude of collaboration? Of abundance? Of equality with people? With a servant-leadership? All of that is now possible. It is available to you through using the Meta-States Model.