DEALING WITH SYMPTOMS

Where there are problems, there are almost always symptoms. Incredibly there are many times when the symptoms feel worse than the problem. Although at other times, the symptom may seem like the solution to the problem. Given that, how can you tell the difference? Obviously most of the time, symptoms are problematic even though not the problem. At other times, the symptom may be a partial solution and partial problem—it may have secondary gains while also creating new problems.

Problems are generally renown for producing undesired symptoms ... and the symptoms often are what “cries for attention.” Because of that, they function as the squeaky wheel which grabs our attention. As a result, unless we are thinking clearly and precisely, we can end up thinking that the symptom is the problem. In actuality, it is a result of a problem. That’s why good problem-solving distinguishes problem from symptom.

Yet it is very tempting is to go after the symptom. Why? Because typically that is where the noise is. It’s where the pain is, and it is often what you can ameliorate with a quick fix. But symptomatic solutions and quick fixes only cover up the problem without addressing the actual problem. While symptomatic solutions are usually well-intended, and work at first, in the long run they make things worse because they mask the real problem.

Yet not all symptoms are the same. There are many different kinds of symptoms and different levels of symptoms. Given that the kind of thinking that creates problems occur at multiple levels, so do symptoms. To distinguish the levels, when you identify a symptom or hear of one, begin by asking: “About what?” Or “Because ...?” This will help to identify the thinking level behind the symptom. Here are the three levels of symptoms that I’ve introduced in The 5 Minute Manager training.

First Level Symptoms

First level symptoms are primary emotions and so constitute direct symptoms. These symptoms reveal how the emotions show up in the body as emotional expressions (how anger shows up; how fear, sadness, etc.). These symptoms make sense: the thinking leads directly to the emotion as a symptom. They are linear, direct, and close in time and space. Who can solve problems at this level? Generally anyone with a little training in NLP and Neuro-Semantics. Anyone could learn how to identify the symptoms, separate it from the real problem, and solve the distorted immediate thinking that creates the problem.

Second Level Symptoms

The ‘emotions’ of the symptoms at this level are secondary emotions. They are partially an emotion and partially a judgment (evaluation). They are created by the meta-stating process. Whereas ‘sad’ is directly related to a specific loss, ‘depression’ is generalized and abstract, “I’m depressed about life.” “I’m depressed because no one will ever love me.” The connection between thinking and the emotional symptom is not immediately obvious and therefore may not ‘make sense.’ It may be a function of the person’s psycho-logics— the inner reasoning by which the person created some distorted thinking and therefore the secondary symptom.

Who can solve problems with this level of symptoms? Basically someone trained and skilled in the Meta-Coaching methodology. The person could handle this level of symptoms by recognizing them and solving the distorted thinking problems that arise from the interface of state upon state, thought upon thought, feeling upon feeling.

Third Level Symptoms

The symptoms at this level are mostly outside-of-conscious awareness (unconscious). As a result, the person experiencing the problem is more likely to identify the problem as caused by something external. Yet in reality, these symptoms come from unquestioned assumptions, the person’s ‘way of being’ in the world (his style or character) seems to him ‘normal.’ Often it is not even a problem for him. It is just the way things are.

Who can solve problems at this level? Generally Professional Therapists. A person needs to have the required psychotherapy knowledge and skills and be skilled in being able to recognize these hidden symptoms, and call them out. This means working with blind spots and unconscious patterns by inferring what’s implied in the person’s assumptions and presuppositions.

An Example of Symptom Levels

1\) John’s symptom –\> Anger. “What are you angry about?” How Jim treats me; he violates my values of respect by raising his voice, using a patronizing tone, and calling him ‘boy.’

Direct symptom. The symptom reveals a linear cause-effect. It is close in time and space and the cause is specific—Jim’s words, tone, and verbalizations. These distinctions tell you that the symptom makes sense. As an emotional symptom, the energy can be put to good use. How? By accepting the emotion, embracing it as an emotion, following it back to the thinking out of which it came. Then using the energy of the anger for a conversation with Jim, asking for some change of behavior. In the conversation, ask, “Is the emotion appropriate? How could you use its energy to bring about a change?”

2\) John’s symptom –\> Anger. “What are you angry about?” I’m angry at being angry because anger makes me a bad person (identity); I don’t want to be a bad person, so I will focus on making the anger go away (via denial, suppression, condemnation). Then as a second level symptom John now feels an emotional deadness; he says he feels nothing, that he thinks he is a wimp.

Indirect/ layered symptom. There is no obvious cause-effect connection or specific trigger. The cause and trigger are general and abstract, and not close in time and space. His anger-at-his-anger kills his emotions so he feels nothing. In this way he has mis-handled his first problem. He did not give his anger permission to be and himself permission to learn from it.

3\) John’s symptom –\> Anger. “What are you angry about?” I’m angry at feeling emotionally dead and lifeless within. He says, “I have no passion for anything; nothing moves me.” He now misunderstands his own situation. He thinks, “I have a motivation problem.” But he does not have a motivation problem. That’s his false solution of denying his emotions and to ‘solve’ it will not get to the real problem.

Now the symptom is even more indirect. It arises from mis-handling the first problem. His ‘secondary gain’ of not being bothered by his anger came at the cost of losing touch with his emotions. Now he has another problem on top of the first one. All this severely complicates problem-solving as it distracts and confuses.

4\) John’s symptom –\> Anger. At the assumptive level, John may have grown up in a family culture that not only forbid all anger, but treated anger as an existential issue or threat— to feel anger demonstrates you are ‘bad to the core’ and have no hope of being a decent human being. None of this would be conscious. It would be a feeling, and lead to other unconscious symptoms.

Symptom: An existential despair, depression, hopelessness, helplessness.

The bottom line? All symptoms are not the same. Some are simple and direct; they show up in the body immediately. Some are layered by multiple thoughts and feelings and as such generate gestalt states and symptoms. Yet others arise from unconscious beliefs, understandings, and frames and so make up one’s assumed ontology and/or epistemology. Consequently, in problem-solving, a key skill is learning to distinguish these levels of symptoms and address them.