EMBEDDING AND META-STATES

A common question for NLP people when first learning the Meta-States Model is, “Isn’t this very similar to the collapsing of anchors?” The answer is No, it is not. In fact, it is the very opposite of “the collapsing anchors” (or states) in NLP. Instead of collapsing or reducing th neurological energy of two incompatible states, in Meta-States you transcend (rise above) the state you are experiencing and include it as a member of another state. In this transcending and including you put the other state at a higher position (level) to the first state. This embeds the first state within the next higher one making it a member of it.

You transcend your fear (state1) to calmness (state2) so that now you experience a new gestalt— calm fear. Lots of things happen simultaneously when you do this. Here are a few of them: Fear (state1) is tempered, textured, and qualified by calmness (state 2). Fear (state1) becomes a member of the class of calm (state2). Calm becomes the frame-of-reference for fear. Calm becomes the belief and the value of the person expressing fear. Calm becomes the internal context of fear. Calm becomes a belief about fear, “I believe I can stay calm when fear is triggered.” Calm becomes an identity, an understanding, a permission, a memory, an imagination, and the other one-hundred meta-levels. Calm becomes a self-organizing attractor in the person’s neuro-semantic system.

In other words, there are lots of things happening all at once! By embedding the original experience (state of fear) inside of calm—fear is situated in an internal context which changes the quality of the fear itself. In one swell move, system change has occurred sending out ripple effects throughout the person’s life. Talk about a transformational process! This certainly explains why many Neuro- Semanticists get so excited about the ease and power of meta-stating change. By transcending and including, a skilled Trainer or Meta-Coach can set up a self-organizing process that completely renews the mind and personality.

Now the astonishing fact is—everything is embedded in something. Now it becomes a matter of asking what any particular thing is embedded in. What is your fear embedded in? What is your anger embedded in? Your compassion? Your passion? Is it embedded within frames that support you so that you can live out of your very best potentials? After all, that’s the key to living a great and joyous life.

Suppose your anger is embedded in fear and shame. What would that be like? This is what many with “anger problems” experience. Years ago when I did “anger control” with the Department of Corrections in the State of Colorado—that’s what I regularly and consistently found. I would ask the men, “What do you think about your anger? Do you like your anger, or dislike your anger? How well do you accept

your anger?” None of them liked their anger. Most were feared their anger. They feared that they could not control their anger. Nor did they want to accept their anger. They feared that if they accepted their anger, they would not be able to control themselves. They said that they would explode into violent behavior which would then get them into more trouble. And because they were not able to control their anger, once they failed to control it, they would feel ashamed of their anger. That describes the problem with anger being embedded in fear and shame. Ironically, the fear and the shame made their anger even more dangerous, more explosive.

Conversely, suppose you embed your anger in acceptance, calmness, and respect. With acceptance, you are then able to embrace your anger as “a normal human emotion.” It is just anger. With calmness, you are able to slow things down so you can actually think and reflect while you are upset. This puts your anger under your control. Then when something triggers you to feel anger, something that violates your values and expectations, you are able to notice it and are able to monitor when it increases and when it decreases. Now you can turn your anger up and down in terms of intensity, as appropriate to the situation. With respect, you are able to communicate the anger to others without threatening them, but in a way that honors them as persons.

Embedding, as a meta-stating process, is powerful. It enables you to texture the quality of a state so that the experience enhances your life. When you are aware of embedding, you can flush out the old frames that your experiences are currently embedded within so that you can transform things as appropriate.

Now given this, you can probably see why ... even attempting to model an experience ... without understanding and using the Meta-States Model, will give you a very limited mapping.