THE GLITZ AND GLITTER OF NLP

I first thought about the glitz and glitter of NLP the other day while out for a run as autumn was coming to Colorado. Earlier that morning, a person new to NLP had called and asked about trainings in NLP and Neuro-Semantics. Then, during the call, as so often happens, the caller asked my opinion about some of the other things being offered in the field of NLP.

“What do you think about past lives regression in hypnosis?” “What do you think about brainwave technology?” “What do you think about photo-reading?” “What do you think about unconscious installation?” “What do you think about hypnotic repatterning, DHE, huna, the Secret, etc.?”

The person who called most recently also wanted my opinion about some of the things being asserted by certain so-called NLP trainers. (I say “so-called NLP trainers” because they certainly have missed the foundational Cognitive-Behavioral principles of the field.)

He asked, “Isn’t all learning actually unconscious and doesn’t need to go through the conscious mind?” When I then asked, “Who in the world teaches that?” I was told. And I wish I could say I was shocked and surprised. But knowing the trainer that the speaker referred to, I wasn’t. And that was the saddest part of it.

“Of course all learning is not actually unconscious. In fact, every single skill of any complexity must go through the conscious learning process in order to drop out of consciousness and be encoded in our neurology— what we commonly call ‘the unconscious.’”

I thought that would settle it, but it did not. My caller actually found my statement surprising and shocking, so he wanted to know more about that.

“Okay, then consider. Could you unconsciously install riding a bicycle through whatever hypnotic repatterning or guided-fantasy process? What about the skills of dentistry? Or the knowledge of anatomy? Could we take a pre-med student and install what she would need to know and be able to do in order to be a surgeon or general practitioner? What about an astronaut? Okay, an automobile mechanic? Electronics guy? How about a person at the front desk helping customers? Name one set of skills, or even one single commercially viable skill, that you can directly stick in a person’s unconscious mind! Name just one. I’ll tell you that if you could do that, then Bandler, Grinder, James, and all of those “so-called NLP Trainers” would be billionaires! They put medical schools out of business. They would made business schools redundant. Yet the truth is that they do not put those schools out of business, nor are they billionaires.”

So all that glitters in NLP is not gold, nor does not create gold— and that in spite of all the over- promises of instant competency, wealth and sex. The gurus of NLP (which in my opinion begins with Richard Bandler himself) and the want-a-be gurus all talk a beautiful, mysterious, captivating, and expensive talk, but in the end they over-promise and under-deliver. Now how can I make such an assertion?

Here are some facts. For years Bandler has been forbidding papers and pens in his trainings saying that he doesn’t want conscious learning and that he will take charge of the installing unconsciously process. Now doesn’t that have a ring of Jim Jones, David Koresh and other gurus who wanted totally compliant followers rather than thinking men and women who know how to ask hard questions. Why are tough questions not welcomed? And from Tony Robbins to all of the want-a-be Tonys—there is the mystic of the all-competent, all-knowing, all-wealthy leader who will tell you his secrets if only you sign up for the Master of the Universe Course for $10,000 in the next 20 minutes. And you wonder why NLP has gotten a reputation of being “manipulative” in the negative sense of the word?!

Glitter, yes! Enriching? Again, yes— well, for the guru; but almost never for the compliant followers who have to attend yet one more training, now the Super-Masters NLP University course in Hawaii.

Now what got me thinking about all of this was the last question that my caller asked. “Well, if all of that is just superficial NLP glitter and not the real thing, then what would you recommend I do?”

I was tempted to say that I was just about to unveil my own new Mastery University myself in the Greek Islands of the Mediterraean for a select group of learners and only for $9,995.00. But I didn’t! Instead, here’s what I said.

“What should you do? Refuse to let the gurus get by with their non-sense. Take pens and papers, record the things they say, challenge them, ask hard questions, give feedback, don’t let them off the hook when they say that they don’t take feedback (as one of the co- developers did in Switzerland at Briefer Formation) or that all feedback is “projection” (as one new age Huna NLP trainer says when someone attempts to offer him some feedback). Then ask even harder questions, ask for results, demand money back when the promises are not delivered. In other words, be a discerning buyer, beware of what you are buying; ask for evidence. Learn to be a smart decision-maker.”

Yes, there’s a lot of glitz and glitter now in the marketing of NLP— bright shinny toys that seem to be the most wonderful things possible, like the special chocolate bar of Willie Wonka with the golden ticket. And some are real; but most are not. So, let the buyer beware. When you call for trainings, ask the trainer tough questions. Ask about results. Ask about sources. Ask about style and emphasis. As for contact numbers of people. Anyone legitimate will be more than glad to provide it. And most Neuro-Semantic Trainers will invite you to come to the first half day of the training with full money-back guarantee. All you have to say after the first half day, “It’s just not for me.” And then with a smile and kindness, you’ll get all of your money back ... or not pay

until you are convinced that it will be informative, life-changing, and loaded with value for you.

I’m not against glitter as such. Some is good to raise interest, excite, and create some buzz around the transformative nature of this field. But the genuine value of this field is not about the glitter, it is about the gold within— about the processes by which you can discover, access, and unleash your highest potentials and best values and visions. The gold enables you to discover your powers and to learn to run your own brain, manage your own state, and then not need the teacher. A good teacher (coach, trainer, consult, parent, etc.) always aims to work him or herself out of the job!