THE HIDDEN DIMENSIONS OF COMMUNICATION

In the last post I noted that when it comes to communication, there are many more things which are communicated than ideas. Like what? In communicating, you are also transmitting your state, your attitude, your meta-programs, etc. These are present and are being communicated whether you know it or not, intend it or not. These are things that color your communications and are things which can contaminate your communications. That’s why a professional communicator takes all of that into consideration when communicating.

The realization that there is a richness in communication which is not obvious, a richness that is hidden, and that you have to learn how to detect is another reason for learning to become a professional communicator and why it requires precise training and development. So, what are these hidden dimensions with the communication process?

Meta-States. When you communicate you are not only operating from a state, you also are operating from a state-about-that-state. And these will be communicated. One quick and non- obvious way this occurs is via your modifying terms. If in communicating, you mentioned that you found a particular learning boring, then you just communicated your state about your learning state. What a contrast to joyful learning. Aldous Huxley’s favorite word which he used to modify his reflections was “extraordinary.” That was his meta-state about learning.

In any conversation, you can always ask, “What is the quality of your X?” “What is the quality of your fear? Of your confidence? Of your playfulness?” The subsequence answer then tells you the person’s meta-state. That’s because the quality of your state is the quality of your meta-state and it is something you are inevitably communicating. As a professional communicate, when you sit up and take notice, you’ll discover the meta-level frames of understanding that the person is operating from.

Meta-Programs. There are dozens and dozens of thinking patterns—60 key ones are located in the NLP Meta-Program Model. How is a person thinking? What kind of thinking patterns are influencing or driving a person’s conclusions and beliefs? If you listen carefully, you will be able to detect. They are there—yes, hidden, but nevertheless there. To recognize them, the distinctions of the model provides a way to identify them and then use them. We use them first to create rapport with the speaker.

Assumptions. You can also always count on the hidden dimension of assumptions. Call them a person’s premises, the implications that are required to make sense of what a person says, or the presuppositions behind and within the statements uttered— these are facets of what a person assumes in order to construct his or her meanings. One way to detect such assumptions is to look for presuppositional terms like when, where, how, etc.

“How would you like to find resources that will make you both more effective and efficient in reaching your goal?” To make sense of that sentence and to answer “how,” you have to accept the assumption which is built into it. Namely, there are resources that will make you more effective and efficient in reaching your goal.

Self. Hidden in all communications is another dimension, that of self. We are always and inevitably communicating our self when we communicate. After all, our communications come from us and they come through us. What are you communicating about yourself in your communications?

Using the Matrix Model, you can inquire about your self in the multiple dimensions of being a person, doing to achieve something, socially relating to other persons, being a temporal being, play various roles in different contexts of life, etc. If you say something like, “I can’t do that. It’s too hard.” The emphasis on I may indicate that you are questioning yourself as a person. If you say, “I can’t do that.” You may be communicating your inability, the lack of skill.

There are more hidden dimensions. These are a few of the basic ones that you’ll learn in NLP training. These are a few which will facilitate you becoming a Professional Communicator.

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