THE MAGIC OF COMMUNAL THINKING

In his book Predictably Irrational (2008), Dan Ariely distinguishes two kinds of thinking that we are apt to adopt when in relationship with other people. He describes one of the thinking styles as operating from market values and the other from social values. These represent two different domains of life, one is personal and intimate and the other is in the world of business and money-making. In one social norms prevail, in the other market norms dominate. When you go out to a restaurant to eat, at the end of the meal you are given a bill. That’s the market value.

Now imagine a family dinner, maybe Christmas dinner. You are at your mother-in-law’s house. She has prepared a literal banquet for everyone. At the end, you rise to your feet and pull out your wallet and say, “For all of the love you’ve put into this, how much do I own you? Would $80 take care of it?”