WILL THIS YEAR BE THE NEXT YEAR OR TRULY BE A HAPPY NEW YEAR?

Will this new year of 2014 be a new year for you? Or will it just be the next year? The only way it will be new is if you make it new, otherwise it will just be the “next” year, 2014. New implies “different from what has been occurring.” So if your experiences in 2013, your emotions, your activities, behaviors, skills, responses, relationships, etc. were not exactly what you just want more of, then to make them different you will have to create some different frames in your mind.

For the year of 2014 to be new, there’s something that you have to do. You have to create some new frames, new meanings, new movies in your mind, and new outcomes to go for. Have you done that? Will you do that? And while you do have the power to do this (all humans do), you only will actually do this by taking control of your meaning-making powers. That’s the real secret to how to have a happy New Year.

Yet what does that mean? And how do you actually do that? In Neuro-Semantics we have identified many, many dimensions and levels of meaning-making. You have come across many of these if you have read Frame Games (1999) (Winning the Inner Game, 2007) or Neuro- Semantics: Actualizing Meaning and Performance (2012). You may have also come across it if you have attended trainings in Meta-States (APG), Unleashing Potentials, or Meta-Masters (NLP Master Practitioner). The fact is— there are many dimensions and levels of meaning-making and it can be overwhelming. In fact, it can be so overwhelming that a person may have learned it and still not be able to truly be in charge of their meaning-making powers.

I discovered this a couple years ago and since then have reduced the core of meaning-making to four distinctions: identity, causation, significance, and intention. In Meta-Coaching we use four primary questions to coach someone regarding these Four Components of Meaning. With these four core distinctions, you can get yours or another person’s central meanings about anything.

These core meaning-making distinctions come from the extended Meta-Model (Communication Magic, 2001)

How can you use these core meaning-making distinctions for creating truly new meanings so that you can have a new year and a happy one? Here’s how. Take your goal or objective, whatever it is, and ask these four questions.

Examples: I want to exercise more regularly in 2014 and improve my health and fitness. That will make me feel better (more vitality, energy, focus) and enable me to look younger and more fit.

1) What is it? Exercise: exerting myself by jogging, or dancing, or taking the stairs, or going to the gym, or doing push-ups, sit-ups, etc. It is getting my body to move, to use my internal and external muscles so that my bones, movement, and flexibility operate at an optimal level for my age, so that my cardio-vascular and skeleton strength enable me to breath fully and easily.

2) How does it work? Moving my body in a way that’s cardio-vascular for 30 minutes four times a week cleanses my body of toxins, develops breathing fullness, fights heart disease and arthritis, and keeps me younger. Challenging my skeleton strength keeps the muscles in good shape, the skin tighter, etc. Stretching keeps me more flexible.

3) What is the significance? Exercise increases energy and vitality, it enables me to be healthier in body and mind, more resilience, flexible, adaptable. It keeps me younger and more alive in my physiology.

4) What is your intention? I will give myself to exercising at least thirty-minutes 3 to 5 times a week.

I want to develop my personal and relational skills in 2014 so that my ability to connect with others, influence others, manage my own states and emotions, and have richer relationships will increase.

1) What is it? Personal and relational skills are my skills of connecting to self and others by listening, calibrating, and matching so I connect and empathize. It is my skills of inquiring and advocating so I explore with myself and others in a balanced way. It includes the skills of receiving and giving feedback.

2) How does it work? These personal and interpersonal skills create connection, closeness, care, love, support, understanding, and enable cooperation, collaboration, and loyal commitment.

3) What is the significance? As social beings, it enables us to feel loved and appreciated, to love and appreciate, to feel the richness of life and relationships, both personal and business.

4) What is your intention? To make all of my relationships richer and deeper.

May 2014 be much more than a next year, may it be a new year for you!