ASKING THE CLARIFYING QUESTIONS

Here’s another way to be a wimp as a coach— Don’t ask your clients to clarify what they mean. Whatever they say, just run with it. Don’t challenge it. Don’t question it. Just run with it as you assume that you know what your client means and do so without exploring it. Don’t ask them clarifying questions. And if you do ask a clarifying question, just ask one or two; and then give it up. Don’t dare push them. Don’t persist until the client has to work at getting clear herself. That’s just asking too much and besides, it might make the client uncomfortable (!).

There’s some really interesting facets of the clarifying questions. On the surface, they are so simple, so obvious.

“Tell me more. What do you mean by X?” “In what way specifically did she do Y?” “Where and when did he do Z and how are you interpreting that?”