GOALS DON’T DEVELOP

Here’s something else that could go wrong in coaching and this happens to be a subtle one— your client’s goals don’t develop. Obvious you begin with the question, “What do you want?” and you supplement that question with the intentionality question, “Why is that important to you?” In fact, you repeat that question five times or more to make sure that the goal presented is indeed a real goal, an important goal, a goal that is relevant to the person’s life, and a goal that’s connected to her values.

And yet ... as you well know, often the goals are small selfish goals that won’t really make that much of a difference in the person’s life. At that point you, as the coach, are at a choice point. “Should I go with this goal that my client has presented or should I challenge him to get something really significant?” There is no one “right” answer to that. For some clients who are not very trusting, they may need you to first accept what they offer without much questioning so that they learn to trust you and enter into the experience of coaching.