MAY I GET YOU A DRINK?

Some people focus primarily on themselves, some focus primarily on others. Others shift back and forth in different degrees of self or other focus. Whatever is the case with your coaching client, without question it will affect the coaching experience.

This emotional meta-program is equally a social meta-program. And as social beings, how we think about others, how we feel, and how we conduct ourselves inevitably influences so much about our lives. This meta-program is elicited whenever there is a social context. When you think about a party, a dinner at someone’s home, or refreshments at a break—where does your focus go—do you focus on yourself or on others?

If your concern and focus goes to others, you will be asking, “May I get you a drink?” You are a helper, a facilitator, a host, a caring and concerned guest. You notice such things as when someone else may have a need. Otherwise, you may be standing around and waiting, “When will someone offer me a drink?” The first is the Other Attention meta-program, the second is the Self Attention meta-program (#24).