THE BALCONY AND THE DANCE FLOOR

I came across a great metaphor some time back in the book, Leadership on the Line (2002) by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky: “Let’s say you are dancing in a big ballroom with a balcony up above. A band plays and people swirl all around you to the music, filling up your view. Most of your attention focuses on your dance partner, and your reserve whatever is left to make sure that you don’t collide with dancers close by. You let yourself get carried away by the music, your partner, and the moment. When someone later asks you about the dance, you exclaim, ‘The band played great, and the place surged with dancers.’ “But if you had gone up to the balcony and looked down on the dance floor, you might have seen a very different picture. You would have noticed all sorts of patterns. For example, you might have observed that when slow music played, only some people danced; when the tempo increased, others stepped onto the floor; and some people never seemed to dance at all. Indeed, the dancers all clustered at one end of the floor, as far away from the band as possible.” (p. 53)

Here are two perspectives—a balcony perspective and a dance floor perspective. One arises from the middle of the action where there is lots of energy and emotion, the other rises from a distance where you see the big picture and the patterns of that energy. Both are important. What I appreciate about Heifetz and Linsky’s use of this metaphor is the point they make. It’s a point that we in Neuro-Semantics are constantly making—we can do both at the same time. In fact, the synergy of both perspectives is, in part, what defines “wisdom.”

“Achieving a balcony perspective means taking yourself out of the dance, in your mind, even if only for a moment. The only way you can g ain both a clearer view of reality and some perspective on the bigger picture is by distancing yourself from the fray. Otherwise you are likely to misperceive the situation and make the wrong diagnosis, leading you to misguided decisions about whether and how to interview.”

The in and out perspectives—one from the balcony and one from the dance floor are just that— two perspectives and we can learn to move in and out of them at will, using each to enrich the other. Stepping in enables you to get lost in that moment, in the energy, in the emotion, in the experience. Stepping out enables you to witness, to observe, to access meanings, perspectives, and patterns. While both are important, each is important for different reasons and purposes. And both involve associating. That’s right. One associates into immediacy, the other associates into observation. In spite of what some NLP trainers and books say, stepping out of immediacy and into observation is not “dissociation.” That’s an entirely different process and dynamic. [The opposite of associating into a particular emotion, state, or perspective is not dissociation, it is associating into another emotion, state, or perspective.]

The meta-skill I’m describing here involves the process of repeatedly stepping in and out that gives you the rich double ability of affecting and influencing what is happening on the dance floor and simultaneously observing the impact of that intervention in real time. And if you make this process iterative, then your intervention and feedback of the results enables you to effectively coach, heal, and lead. And the more skilled you become in this iterative stepping-in-and-out process, the more able you will be to give-and-receive feedback in the moment to shape new skills and expertise.

And doing this is part of what it means to think systemically: “To see yourself from the outside as merely one among the many dancers, you have to watch the system and the patterns, looking at yourself as part of the overall pattern. You must set aside your special knowledge of your intentions and inner feelings, and notice that part of yourself that others would see if they where looking down from the balcony.” (p. 54)

This describes a practical integration of this higher or meta-level skill. Some call this mindfulness—a higher level awareness of the larger picture while you are in the midst of things. And since it increases the wisdom of getting and maintaining perspective in the midst of action. In the field of athletics, many (perhaps most) top athletes are able to do both at the same time—they can simultaneously play the game and observe it. They can observe their play while playing and adjust their skills and responses to increase their effectiveness. How about that! Isn’t that magical? In the field of coaching, this is one of the unique skills that gives Meta- Coaches a higher level leverage in facilitating transformation.

This is also unique. Few people can do this. Few can see the dynamics of their lives in communicating and relating as they happen. Swept up in the action of the meeting, they simply do not notice patterns. They simply play their part. The observational challenge of the balcony view enables you to see the subtleties that normally would go right by you. Seeing the whole picture requires standing back and watching as you take part of the action. Taking a balcony perspective is tough to do when you’re engaged on the dance floor, being pushed and pulled by the flow of events. It’s tough unless you’ve been trained!

The balcony perspective can also provide you an inner sanctuary for your mind. You can use it to be a place of reflection for renewal, a place where you can listen to yourself away from the dance floor and the blare of the music. Once you have learned the skill of stepping in and out, you can then step out while even in the midst of a challenge to reaffirm your deeper sense of your self, your meanings, and your purpose. Would you like this meta-skill? You can get it via the introductory training to Meta-States— APG, or you can get it via working with a Meta-Coach. Here’s to the wisdom of your synergistic dance floor—balcony perspective!