THE SEVENTH DISTINCTION CURRENT VS DESIRED STATE

Distinction #7: DISTINGUISHING CURRENT AND DESIRED STATE The final distinction required for becoming more professional communicator is the current / desired state differentiation. This is the ability to look at yourself and others and to recognize the temporal dimensions of experience (i.e., past – present – future). Again, let’s begin with some definitions for clarity.

For the current state, ask: Where are we now? Where are you now? What’s currently going on? What are the challenges, problems, constraints, pros and cons, etc. of the current situation? To be able to do this as a communicator requires of you the ability to be present, to come into the now, to acknowledge and accept whatever is for whatever it is without needing to defend, argue, rationalize, or use any other ego-defense mechanism. Obviously, to do this takes a lot of ego- strength—the strength to accept what is without caving in or going into a fight/flight type of response.

Can you be present? That question sounds like an obvious, and even as a rhetorical, question. It is not. Coming into the here-and-now is one of the most difficult things for anyone of us to do. Why is that? We remember! We understand things today through previous experiences— experiences which we now use as references for interpreting things. In this way, the past is part of the present in our perceptual filters and why we need to distinguish the two.

Communicating about the present state includes two additional factors— symptoms and causes. Symptoms are the symptomatic problems that may arise— emotions, behaviors, consequences. Causes refer not to the past but to the meaning frames that hold the way to interpret something.

The past refers to what has been, where you have been, and the factors which have contributed to bring you to where you are today. The past is where you have learned what you know and which colors your perspectives today. There are several problems in thinking about the past. First, how we remember the past is highly vulnerable to what and how we think today. That is, your current understandings, beliefs, values, etc. color your memories so “the past” is not as it was. It keeps changing. It’s the nature of human memory to change as we keep learning.

The desire state is another time dimension—it speaks of the future. This is the dimension of imagining and envisioning by which you create the future you want to move to. You elicit this when you ask: Where do you want to go? Where will you go if you don’t make a change? How will you get there? What’s involved in the journey? What resources do you need? What are the steps and stages along the way? How will you know when you get there?

Whatever you have learned is time-dated. That’s why whenever you learn something, it would be a great idea to stamp an expiration date on that learning. That’s because what you have learned often becomes out-dated, redundant, and irrelevant. It does for all of us. While some learnings are forever, most are not. Things keep changing, new things come into play.

Further, thinking about the future is itself problematic. That’s because it is highly unpredictable, much more so than most of us suspect. In fact, because our brains are designed as “anticipation machines” we suffer the cognitive fallacy of believing and trusting our predictions.

To move from your current state, to your desired state, you need problem solving skills. In NLP, we do this by beginning with a well-formed outcome and use the precision questions to clearly define what you want. Then in Neuro-Semantics we move to construct a well-formed problem statement. Doing that prevents us from attempting to solve pseudo-problems. Otherwise, you may be trying to work on a mere symptom, a paradox, or the wrong problem. Next comes creating a well-formed solution and innovation.

This distinction also keeps problems and solutions separate. You clearly define both to think and communicate strategically as you develop the plans, tactics, and resources for making a dream come true. This distinction enables you to synergize your away-from and toward motivational energies so that you build up a propulsion system and that integrates both aversions and attractions.

[For more, see Creative Solutions. You will find in that book the structure of a well- formed problem, well-formed outcome, well-formed solution, and a well-formed innovation.]