THE TRICKIEST COACHING CONVERSATION

When you ask a client what he wants and he says, “Confidence,” you are in the presence of a situation that could be the trickiest coaching conversation of all. So, a warning—Beware! Your next words will be critical if you are to avoid getting trapped in a dead-end exchange that will go nowhere. You’ve probably fallen into this trap. Most of us have. You may get trapped in it during your next coaching conversation. Many who read this article will. The distinctions that follow are subtle and therefore require careful reading and implementation. So, if you’re ready, here we go.

It all begins with what sounds like a perfectly reasonable desired outcome. “I want to have more confidence.” That’s what they say. Yet is that always helpful? Think about it. It all depends, doesn’t it? Further the request for more confidence can mean so many things to different clients. So you have to ask what your client is really asking for. So inquire before you jump into coaching to it. Ask the clarity check question. Don’t assume that you know what the person means. So what are the range of things that confidence could mean to different clients?