YOU FAIL TO CHALLENGE

The next item on the list of things that could go wrong in coaching is “You fail to challenge.” Sadly, this is an all too common failure— Coaches fail to adequately challenge their clients. Now if you ask them, nearly all of them will say that they do. “Yes, I challenge my clients.” If you ask the clients, “Do you feel that your coach challenges you?” most will say no. Or they will say, “Not enough. I wish my coach would challenge me more.”

What’s going on here? The problem is that most coaches are people people, they love people, they want to see people grow, they do not want to offend, they do not want to hurt anyone’s feelings, and so they hold back when it comes to the very idea of challenging a client. They are too compassionate, too nice, too soft, too gentle. And if there are any cultural frames about pushing people, provoking people, teasing, etc., then they may be incapable of actually challenging a client because “it would not be respectful.”